The essays below represent typical examples of our work. They have been reprinted only with the permission of the applicants. Certain details have been modified to protect the anonymity of the writers. We will always protect the privacy of our clients.
The before essay is the first draft we received. The after essay was created only after extensive discussions with the applicant to clarify the content and gain more insight about the essay.
|
|
BEFORE
(College essay)
Describe a significant experience or achievement and its importance to you.
|
|
AFTER
(College essay)
Describe a significant experience or achievement and its importance to you.
|
|
My town passed a new law last year that forced all residents in our town to separate trash from recyclable items as well as between the recyclable items themselves, including glass, plastic, metals, paper. What was considered a great idea at first thought turned out to have several unforeseen problems along the way to implementation.
One reason why the recycling plan was not a complete success was that the government did not educate the people about what a recyclable item was. Without knowing the difference, a person who intended to recycle would fail in his/her efforts to do so. Another reason was that the government began to fine people that did not recycle properly as a way to encourage people to recycle. Finally, sanitation crews had orders to dump the entire bin as garbage if a homeowner had mixed the recyclables and garbage in the same bin. As a result, the recycling program had unintended and, somewhat, ridiculous outcomes, including unfair fines, an uneducated public, and much wasted time and money.
Ever since my freshman year, I have been involved with my schools Environmental Action Committee because I have always held the belief that ones efforts to make a difference in the world begins on an individual level. Recycling is a good example of this because the success of a recycling program is based on each household separating out their own recyclables from garbage.
Because the government did so little to explain recycling, however, the program seemed certain to fail. In an informal poll I took of homes within a four block radius of my school, I learned that nearly 75% did not know that milk cartons were recyclable and over 90% mistakenly thought that yogurt containers were recyclable. These results were totally shocking to me. In an attempt to educate the misinformed public, I created brochures that listed clear examples of what was recyclable and what was not recyclable. I also explained the benefits of recycling and reducing our waste. For example, I noted that recycling one ton of paper saved seventeen trees and that every year the U.S. threw away enough paper to build a wall from New York to California. I also pointed out that recycling saved our society money. Throwing away recyclable items was like throwing away cash into the bin.
As president of the Environmental Action Committee, I trained and organized a group of thirty-six student volunteers to hand out brochures to residences and at local malls. I contacted the Sanitation Department and asked them if I could give presentations at local libraries with their help and they agreed. The Sanitation Department supplied me with free posters and recycling stickers to give out to homeowners. I gave ten presentations to over two hundred people about recycling and its benefits.
In conclusion, I focused making a difference at the individual and local level which I believe is very important because I believe this is the best way to make a long-lasting difference in the world. By increasing awareness, people learn good habits that are better for the planet and their neighborhood. We can imitate this awareness in communities everywhere through unified hard work and commitment. The entire planet will feel the difference if we are successful in our attempt to get more people not only to recycle, but to recycle properly.
|
|
Starting in my freshman year, I became involved with my schools Environmental Action Committee because I have always believed that making a large-scale difference begins at the individual level. Recycling is a prime example of this belief because the success of a recycling program depends on each individual doing ones part in separating recyclables from garbage.
Last year my town passed a new law requiring residences to separate their recyclables glass, plastic, metals, and paper from their ordinary garbage. Though the idea seemed like a good one, the town encountered several problems with its implementation.
First and foremost, the government did not properly educate people about what could and could not be recycled and, more fundamentally, why we were recycling at all. Second, the government tried to encourage recycling by handing out fines to people who failed to recycle properly. Third, if a homeowner mixed recyclables and garbage in one bin, regulations required sanitation crews to dump the entire bin as garbage. These three factors led to absurd results: unfair fines, an ill-informed populace, and wasted efforts.
In an informal poll I took of residents living within a four block radius of my school, I learned, for example, that nearly 75% of those polled did not know that milk cartons were recyclable; over 90% mistakenly thought that yogurt containers were recyclable. To bridge this information gap, I created brochures with pictures that showed clearly what could and could not be recycled. I also wrote in practical terms about the benefits of recycling and reducing our waste for instance, I noted that recycling one ton of paper saved seventeen trees and that every year the U.S. threw away enough paper to build a wall from New York to California. I further explained that recycling made economic sense: if you wouldnt throw five dollars into the garbage, why would you throw away something that could be recycled?
As president of the Environmental Action Committee, I trained and organized a group of thirty-six student volunteers to hand out brochures to residences and at local malls. I also contacted the Sanitation Department about partnering up to give presentations at local libraries about the recycling program. The Sanitation Department, for its part, supplied me with free posters and recycling stickers to distribute to homeowners. All told I gave ten presentations to over two hundred people about recycling.
Though I hope to effect large-scale change, I have directed my efforts at changing individual habits because I believe this is the most effective way to make a lasting difference. By increasing awareness at the local level, people learn better habits that can have a cumulative, positive impact. Through hard work and dedication, there is no reason why we cannot duplicate our local successes in communities everywhere. If we can achieve this, we will have done more than collect our cans and tie up our newspapers; we will have changed the world.
|
|
|
|
BEFORE
(Business school essay)
Describe an ethical dilemma you faced and how you handled the situation.
|
|
AFTER
(Business school essay)
Describe an ethical dilemma you faced and how you handled the situation.
|
In our Hong Kong office, I worked as project manager for structured products offerings. I dealt with important clients in their purchase of approximately $20 million notes linked to an index published by ACME. In leading this project, I delegated to a team member the responsibility to make sure we had a proper license by ACME to use their index.
Of course, as you would have guessed, something went wrong right before launch. The team member responsible for getting the license told me he thought we had one year license from ACME, but in fact we did not. When he followed up to find a new license we learned that buying a license would be so expensive and that as a result, we would net a zero profit margin on the deal.
I talked to my supervisor about this situation and he told me he had heard maybe that others had done deals like this all the time without a license. To him other firm departments escaped trouble without getting licenses and he questioned whether getting a license was genuinely proper practice. He suggested that the legal department only made problems for deals and we should make our own business risk decision. I also discussed with the Australia and Japan departments and they said that for non-public deals like our deal, their opinion was that these deals do not require a license. The reasons for this were because they believed ACME would never learn our use of their license in non-public areas and deals and, anyway, maybe legally this license was not required. Maybe, some argued, having a license was being too cautious. All these arguments made me start wondering: was our Hong Kong department limiting itself in an unnecessary manner?
However, positioning my opinion, I think ACME without any doubt would see using their index as needing for us to get a license. If I create an index and index formula, it should be my intellectual property, not some property for some other person to use to have profit. Otherwise, where is my protection for creating a new property. But, if we decided not to see license as property would mean real profit on the deal and I had cover from supervisor and other departments in the firms other offices saying maybe I do not need genuinely or license is unnecessary. I could avoid problems if trouble happened on the deal because of license problem.
Finally, I made decision to talk to US Legal Department because clients for the deal were from U.S. and ACME is U.S. company. They said that license was needed and this confirmed my own decision of property protection. I believe that because we have procedure for license, this procedure says that we should get license. If other groups and my supervisor did not agree, I did not believe this should be a reason not to do the legal thing. I would not want to lead a project and be accused by ACME of theft and negative comments from media and others. I believe as project leader, I must decide what is the best decision for the firm, team, clients and my deal. The correct decision for me was to get a license even if we had no profit, because we need to take care of our important client relationships and do the deal we promised to them.
My decision was unpopular, but I believe genuinely this is the right decision and I had the long-term protection for the firm in mind when I decided to act like this.
|
|
In the Hong Kong office at ABC Bank, I worked as project manager on several structured debt offerings, including one involving the issuance of $20 million of ABC notes to several important U.S. clients in a non-public offering. At maturity, these notes paid an amount based on the performance of the ACME Index, published by ACME Company.
Just days before the launch, a team member I had delegated to check on our licensing agreement with ACME informed me that he mistakenly thought we had a license, but in fact we did not. When he followed up with ACME he learned that the cost of a new license was so expensive that it would result in zero profit on this deal.
I discussed the situation with my supervisor and he thought we could do without a license. He had heard that other departments did not always get licenses and he questioned their necessity. He also was inclined not to discuss the matter with the legal department because he thought they would make an unnecessary fuss and that we should make our own risk decision because we were only days from launch. For another viewpoint I consulted my counterparts in Australia and Japan, and they informed me they did not get licenses for non-public deals because of the high fees and unlikelihood of discovery. They also questioned the necessity of licenses and often acted without consulting their legal departments.
Though these views gave me pause, I did not doubt that ACME would demand a license to use its index. Certainly, if I created a proprietary index, I would expect the index to remain my intellectual property, not free property for anyone to use for their own gain. Otherwise, what would be my incentive to create new intellectual property? If I wanted to make a profit on this deal, however, my only recourse was to proceed to launch without the license.
I decided that the best course was to be frank with the legal department. As expected, the legal department viewed indices as protected property and recommended we get the license. I agreed and contacted ACME myself.
Though others did not agree with my decision, I, as project leader, had to make the best decision for my clients, the deal and ABC. I did not want to lead a project that relied on what I believed to be property theft. If ACME did learn of the deal and sued, this could cause significant reputational damage to our firm. Further, not following legal advice would make us appear even more disreputable. And though the license fee meant no profit on this particular deal, it was not uncommon to facilitate unprofitable deals with important clients to improve the relationship, so this deal still provided ABC a benefit.
My decision was unpopular, but reputation is difficult to build and easy to lose. Though it would have been easy to do otherwise, I believe taking the high road in this case was in everyones best long-term interest.
|
|
|